I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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