I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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