I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
