Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
