Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
