hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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