Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
