Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
