I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
