It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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