dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize