so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
