I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am one with the molecules
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
