your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
