I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
