It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
