dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
