How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
