Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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