I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
