woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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