I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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