I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize