oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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