She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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