the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
