I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
