She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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