sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im holly from the hills drunk
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
