wrigley field is MILF paradise
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
