where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
