a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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