You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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