her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
