Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am naked and annoyed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
