I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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