He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
