I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
