I look better un-naked...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
