what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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