Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm at about main and main street
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
