So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just had sex on a roof
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
