So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
