We named our party play list daddy issues
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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