worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize