the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she looked like the before picture.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
