Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
