why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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