just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
