Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
