Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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