just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I will be naked everywhere
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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