meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
