I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
