If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
