Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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