I have demons in me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
