Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
