I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
