Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
