you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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