You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize